Cheating devastates relationships and shatters dreams. If you have
entertained the idea of cheating on your spouse or significant other,
let this serve as your official warning. Your handsome boss, cute office
secretary or sultry neighbour down the street comes with a price tag
that you cannot afford.
Before you cheat here are 14 things you really need to know.
1. You will become a liar
It’s bad enough to bear the title of “Cheater,” but if you cheat,
you will also wear the hat of “Liar.” Cheating cannot occur without
deceit on some level and normally the white lies in the beginning become
full-fledged lies at the end. “I’m working late at the office tonight”
may be a half-truth but you’ll need to redefine the word “working” to
silence your compromised conscience. Cheating and lying go hand in hand.
2. You will get caught
It may not be today. It may not be tomorrow. But eventually, your
affair will come to light. Your world will come crashing down on you. If
you are fortunate, the story of your indiscretion may avoid the evening
news or the front page of your local paper, but your circle of friends
will know your deeds. And everyone likes to share juicy news. Your poor
decision will become as public as a billboard. It’s not a matter of if
but when. As Pastor Rick Warren tweeted recently, “If the Director of the CIA can’t hide and cover up an affair, no one can.” As the Chinese proverb goes, “If you don’t want anyone to know it, don’t do it.”
3. You will disappoint everyone
Everyone. Your spouse. Your friends. Your co-workers. Your God.
Your parents. Your nephew. Your children. Yourself. The disappointment
you cause will be like the stench of skunks and it will take a long time
to remove the smell.
4. You will be a bad example
Everyone is either a good example or a bad example in all things
that we do. Cheating is not only a very bad example in relationships but
brings with it a cloud of doubt that hovers over you in other areas of
your life. If you cheated in one area, would you cheat in another?
Cheating communicates to everyone that you took the easy road. It tells
others that you were willing to cut corners in your most primary
relationship. It reveals that you were not willing to do the hard work
and get the help you needed. No one ever admires a cheater. No one looks
up to an adulterer. Even if you did a lifetime of good, this one bad
deed can erase it all.
5. You will lose your moral authority
It’s hard to tell your children (or others) to do the right thing
when they know you didn’t. Saying “Do as I say, not as I do” is the
fastest way to lose the respect of others. Not only will you lose their
respect, you’ll lose yours. Every moral judgment you make in the future
will be weighed against your adulterous action of the past. It doesn’t
mean you can’t speak the truth in the future, it just means that few
will listen to you.
6. You will create trust issues for your spouse
Forever. You will single-handedly damage the precious self-esteem
of the one you promised to love. Every relationship they have after you
will be one that they struggle to trust. If that were not enough, you
will rock the world of children and cause them to question the stability
of every meaningful relationship they have. For children, their
parents’ relationship is their anchor and cheating cuts the line.
7. You will lose your standard of living
Depending on what you do for a living, you may lose your job. Many
lose their home. Most end up with enormous court fees since cheating is
usually the precursor to divorce. Betrayed spouses have a way of making
you pay and that payment is always expensive. Every check you write is a
constant reminder of your foolishness.
8. You will spend years trying to rebuild your life
Literally years. Even if you somehow weathered the storm
financially, you will find it takes years for you to recover
emotionally. It takes years for you to restore certain friendships, if
you even do. It takes years for you to rebuild your character. It takes
years to rebuild trust. It takes years to truly forgive yourself.
9. You will lose relationships
You will lose a LOT of relationships. Lifelong friends will walk
away. Close friends that you have helped countless times will not be
around to help you. Even some family members who are supposed to love
you no matter what will vanish. A cheater can end up living a very
lonely life. It’s hard for many people who used to call you friend to
get past that skunk smell of disappointment.
10. You will increase your chances of getting an STD
s3 xually transmitted diseases run rampant among promiscuous
people. But your paramour is “clean,” right? After all, they told you
so. And if there is one thing we all know – we can trust a cheater and
their word. As the saying goes, “There is honor among thieves.” One
helpful thought may be to assume that everyone but your spouse has an
STD. That should curb your appetite for destruction.
11. The grass is not greener on the other side
The “grass is greener” idea is a common misconception. Because we
have never been on that grass, we assume it must be better than where we
currently stand. It’s not. In fact, though it may look greener from a
distance – once you get there and make yourself comfortable, something
interesting happens – the grass changes color. This usually happens soon
after you get caught. You will then see that patch of land differently.
You will also have a strange desire for the green grass you left …
except now it is burned and won’t let you back. The best way to enjoy
green grass is to water your own yard.
12. Would you want this done to you?
Thieves like to steal wallets but hate when it’s done to them. If
we all lived by the Golden Rule (“Treat others the way you want to be
treated.”) most of life’s problems would be solved overnight. Think
about this action as if it were being done to you. The problem is that
it requires thought and thinking is often the last thing a cheater has
on his/her mind.
13. You will eventually regret this decision
In the heat of the moment, cheating appears to make sense. It feels
good and sometimes even feels right. Feelings are deceitful. Soon
afterward, your eyes will be opened and you will regret that you ever
partook of the forbidden fruit. Don’t we all have enough regrets in our
lives? Why add another one – particularly one that can only destroy
everything you have worked so hard to build? Your home may not be
perfect but it sure beats living in a tent.
14. The pain outweighs the gain
No one ever says from their deathbed, I wish I would have had an
affair. No one ever leaves their lawyer’s office with a smile on their
face – grateful for the experience. No one loses dear friends and is
glad they have one less Christmas card to receive this year. The loss is
immeasurable. The pain can be unbearable. Entire kingdoms can be lost
for a few minutes of pleasure. It is just not worth it.
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