Ever felt like being constantly deceived and manipulated by someone, the truth could be staring you right in the face. For the guys you can tell if that babe has been putting you on a very very long thing. Lol.
Read below.
In this piece, I try to enumerate some of the most common traits of manipulative people.
Many of these behavioral patterns are also seen in highly competitive people – actually, one of the reasons humans manipulate other other humans is to gain competitive advantage.
While this list may not completely capture the topic, it does address some of the very important points.
In no particular order:
1. Concealing the truth without actually telling a lie – Information management
I like to believe every human alive can relate to this perspective. A manipulative person is a specialist in managing information; and while there may seem to be nothing wrong with choosing what things to share and those to conceal, choosing not to tell the WHOLE TRUTH in order to conceal a part of the story isn’t exactly right.
Now, it is better, easier and more genuine to let the other person know you do not intend to give a particular piece of information.
It is however wrong to create the impression that you’re saying everything when you actually are not.
2. Leaving the definition open
Someone with the intention to deceive or manipulate may try as much as possible to not clearly spell what they mean when they communicate.
They tell you something and leave you to read your meaning to it. That way, they can always tell you they meant something else later.
No offense, but I have seen legal practitioners and interrogators make use of a technique similar to this on a number of occasions, mostly when they are trying to get someone to confess to a crime: they make an open statement and talk the suspect into giving his/her own definition to it.
The assumption here is that whatever meanings the suspect reads to their statement, have a high probability of being the truth.
Regardless of what course is pursued with this technique, truth is, IT IS MANIPULATIVE.
3. They can’t wait to say ‘I told you so’
Disagreements are inevitable among human beings. The singular fact that each person is a unique being makes this assertion reasonable. This is regardless of whether or not we are related to the other party in the disagreement by blood or birth.
Typically, when a manipulative person disagrees with a particular choice of action or decision, their next line of action is to eagerly wait for the course to fail. Many times, a manipulative person may even contribute to the failure of a course, either by some action or intentional inaction.
So, watch out!
People that are quick to say ‘i told you so’ may have manipulative personalities and may have been instrumental, actively or inactively, to the failure in the first place.
This leads us to my next submission;
4. Keeping Silent When To Talk
We do not only err by our actions but more often than not, by our in-actions.
One thing is certain; a man that has not spoken cannot be quoted and this trait is similar to ‘leaving the discussion open’.
When things go wrong and someone (most times the one in a position of authority) is required to either take responsibility, or apportion blame to whoever it is due, the manipulative person may decide to not speak.
Okay. Don’t mistake this for being reserved or wisdom, it may be a calculated attempt at leaving the subject matter open-ended and thus, without resolution.
5. Talking Much but Saying Little
A deceptive person may not necessarily be quiet or reserved. In fact, they seem loquacious to most people.
Well, it is possible to talk a lot and say very little: people keep friendships for decades and never make the mistake of giving certain information to their friends, not even when drunk!
Here it is: the ability to hold on to certain pieces of information about oneself is an absolute necessity of life. It requires a lot of self-control
However, it is different when people do this with the intention to gain undue advantage over others – such people request vital information from you in exchange for common talk.
Now, being manipulative may either be a way of life or a once-in-a-while thing. In my opinion, it is fair to admit a large percentage of humans are once-in-a-while manipulators and dangerous competitors.
The ‘evil’ however is making these traits a way of life.
PS:
So, I know I am talking from a moral point of view, and I also know that we all may not believe in morality.
Nevertheless, we need not request vital information from others when we are not willing to give same to them.
Everyday Nigeria
No comments:
Post a Comment